Month: December 2015

I don’t care about pollution, I’m an air conditioned gypsy.

A fizzle, a fart, and a puff of smoke.

Cut towards your chum, not your thumb.

How loosely woven is the thread of our happiness.  A tug or two and it unravels to reveal how empty our everyday lives really are.

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

-Bilbo Baggins on his 111th birthday

I’m here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.

We’ve been married so long were getting into that S & M stuff; she sleeps and I masturbate.

It’s like a target, most people are in the bullseye but we are at different points on the outer ring, orbiting around, playing duck duck goose.

Friends are not the same thing as any other person. Sure, they still don’t have the right to do something stupid, but they’ve pre-earned at least one chance at forgiveness….eventually.

“Big ass” is an engineering term. It’s somewhere between a “shit load” and “uh oh!”